


amat victoria curam (victory favors those who take pain)

by derseroyalty



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: op's life story yo, this is super duper personal, tw for abuse, tw for neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 08:58:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12317826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derseroyalty/pseuds/derseroyalty
Summary: you have one year to learn about Tyler until you both have to leave.you’ve never been one to give up, and maybe that’s the key to figuring this whole thing out.“I’m a paradox,” he tells you with a frown, and your smile widens.“That just makes it more fun!”





	amat victoria curam (victory favors those who take pain)

**Author's Note:**

> let me ramble for a bit.
> 
> I like to think that my own story is worthy of being told somewhere. I'm still not quite sure where, but as Tyler is my favorite and I feel like I relate to his personality the most, I chose to do this here.
> 
> everything in here is a mixture of me over the years condensed into a single chapter of my senior year, from my best to my worst to me surviving everything.
> 
> names are changed, obviously, and I'm doing my best to keep on fighting. I'm nowhere near done writing stories for the bbs crew, I just wanted to be incredibly self-indulgent for this.
> 
> I don't have an Evan with me. I'd like to think this is what it'd be like if I did though.
> 
> thanks for sticking with me throughout all of this. I really do appreciate it. <3

There's something very interesting about the guy in your Government class.

For the first week of school, all you can do is admire him from afar. He usually doesn't say much, instead finishing his work super early and turning it in. After that, he'd be on his phone, videos making his lips tug up or making him furrow his eyebrows. 

His brown hair is constantly ruffled. He glances at things with crystal blue eyes, either full of emotion or void of anything and everything.

You've never seen him here before. Is he new?

By the second week, you have already decided to befriend him. There's something about him that makes your curiosity skyrocket. _(What secrets does this guy have?)_

You build up the courage one day when papers get handed back from a test. "Hey," you lean over and whisper, causing him to turn slightly to acknowledge you, "what'd you get on number seven?"

"Jefferson did some stupid shit," he mutters, and you stifle your laugh. "I honestly don't know. This shit wasn't in the book, and I should know because I’ve read the whole chapter."

"What's your name?" You ask, and you notice that he kinda stiffens up before answering. "Tyler. You?"

"Evan! I haven't seen you here before, are you new? Did you move right before senior year?" You ask, trying to keep the astonishment out of your voice. No senior should ever have to move right before they graduate!!

Tyler pauses, and you notice his hands absently fiddling with his phone. "Yes and no." 

"What?" You blink, opening your mouth. "How can you—?"

The bell rings. Tyler packs up his stuff and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. "You have to be at a level four friendship to get that answer."

"Well, what if I sit with you at lunch or something?" You get up and walk with him, smiling. 

"If you want to, dude." Tyler shrugs. "I got nothing against it."

He puts in his earbuds and gives you a peace sign, vanishing into the crowd of students leaving for the day. You wave and go home, already excited at the thought of being Tyler's friend.

You have your own, of course. There's Jon, there's Brock, and plenty others!! You just find him super interesting. 

You decide to see what he says tomorrow.

* * *

The next day, you head on over to his lunch table with your friends and watch in amazement as he laughs loudly at something his friend says. His eyes crinkle and he throws his head back, nearly cackling. "That was the funniest shit I've ever heard," Tyler wheezes, huffing as he turns to you. "Oh, hey, this is Evan. He's gonna sit with us, I think."

"Is that cool?" you ask. Jon shoves his way in and sits next to a guy named Luke, already grinning. "I guess so!" Brock grins, sitting down. 

"Welcome to the table!" Someone calls out.

You get along well with Tyler's friends. You plop down next to him and smile, holding out your phone. "Phone number?"

Tyler narrows his eyes again but puts in his number. "You're weird. Most people don't just immediately befriend others like that."

"Well, I do." You grin. "I also would like to know you better! You've got this cool vibe about you, like you've got something to prove."

You see it instantly. He shuts down, curling in on himself. "There's a lot of shit you don't want to know about me. I’m a paradox,” he tells you with a frown, and your smile widens. 

“That just makes it more fun!” 

"I don't know, Evan...this is not something you'd want to do. I can handle us being friends, but if you really want to figure me out..." Tyler shakes his head.

Across the table, one of Tyler's friends snatch food from his plate. Tyler rears his head back and snarls, "You better put that shit back or I'll break your arm."

"Jeez," the friend complains, putting it back. "Sorry."

Tyler exhales and sighs, turning to look at you. "I don't like it when people take my stuff."

You quietly file that away and nod.

* * *

Evan: So! Whatcha up to? 

Tyler: ... 

Tyler: it's three in the morning 

Evan: Well, yeah, but I knew you'd be up. 

Tyler: well shit, you've got me there 

Tyler: what do you even want right now? if this was a friday, saturday, or even a sunday, I'd understand 

Tyler: but it is currently 3:06 am on a wednesday and I usually don't talk to people at this hour. 

Evan: Spoilsport :( 

Evan: Can't I check on what my friend's doing? 

Tyler: sigh 

Tyler: if we become better friends, sure, but I'm tired as shit rn so I'm gonna go 

Tyler: night 

Evan: Goodnight! 

* * *

Jon: so, why do you want to know him again? 

Evan: Idk, I just... 

Evan: Feel like I have to? 

Jon: do you have a crush on him? 

Evan: I genuinely don't, which is weird tbh 

Jon: that's weird lmao but good luck dude 

Evan: Thanks loser 

* * *

When you see Tyler later at lunch, you can't believe you've never noticed that he has dark circles under his eyes. He's tense, with his shoulders slightly hunched. There's a guy sitting next to him and talking to him quietly; after a few moments, the second guy pats him on the back and gets up. 

"What's going on?" You ask, taking your spot next to Tyler. "Are you alright?"

"Family stuff," the second guy says, sticking out his hand. "I'm Craig, it's nice to meet you."

"I'm Evan," you respond, shaking the offered hand. "How long have you known Tyler?"

"A little over a year," Craig grins. "We met when he first moved here and we sat at the exact same table I've sat at for the past few years."

Tyler grunts in acknowledgment. "And then you guys tried to get me to leave."

"And then we became friends!" Craig says cheerfully. "After you wouldn't leave."

"The start of a great friendship," Tyler rolls his eyes, but you can see the small smile. "Whatever. Anyone want to go off campus?"

You get up and a few other friends do as well. The group travels off; you, Craig, a guy named Marcel, and Tyler head off to some fast food place down the street from school. It's not that packed, thankfully, so you go put your stuff down at a table and head back to the line. "Shit," you quietly swear. "I forgot my wallet."

Tyler glances at you and immediately replies, "I got you. Just pay me back later."

You breathe out, relieved that he has your back. "Thanks."

Tyler pays, and the four of you grab your food and head back to the table. You dig into your food and listen to Tyler talk with Marcel, cracking jokes and laughing. Even when he's laughing, Tyler tends to lean back. When someone swipes near him, he's aware of it.

You don't have an answer for it yet.

"Hold on a sec, I think I have that paper." Tyler leans down to his backpack and yanks out a folder, handing Craig a paper with math equations scribbled on it. They talk about it for a second and you spot a galaxy notebook in Tyler's bag. Your curiosity peaks and you tilt your head, gently nudging Tyler before pointing at it. "What's that?"

"None of ya damn business." Tyler immediately responds.

You sigh to yourself. Tyler would take more time to figure out, and you were okay with that. Part of you feels like it'll be worth it in the end.

_(You really hope so.)_

* * *

Tyler first cracks when you mention your family.

It's getting colder out. You bring your usual red jacket, curling it around yourself. You're honestly not that cold but it's fine. 

Tyler is stubborn and refuses to wear a jacket. Everyone knows he's getting cold but fucking hell, he won’t give in and won't take one. You sit at lunch and glare angrily at him. Luckily, you've grown closer to him, so now you're comfortable enough to call him names.

"Hey dickhead," you say loudly. "So when are you gonna stop being a bitch and ask us for a hoodie?"

"Fuck off," Tyler rumbles. His phone buzzes and he briefly checks it, suddenly getting up. "Give me a moment, my dad's here."

He rushes off, leaving you to hang out with the rest of the crew. "I wonder if his dad brought him food," Marcel mumbles under his breath. "That'd be pretty dope."

"Hm?" You blink at him.

Craig huffs out a laugh, making Brian grin. "Last year, his dad decided to be the best dad in the fucking world and bought us all food. It was so goddamn good."

"Hell yes," Craig whispers. "I could really go for some chicken nuggets."

Tyler comes back with the biggest bag of food in his hands and a giant grin on his face. You notice that he's wearing a giant neon yellow hoodie with a logo on it; it’s several sizes too big for him, but he seems super happy. 

"GUESS WHAT I GOT!!" Tyler shouts, tossing the bag onto the table. Craig, Marcel, Brian, and Jon dig into the food and pass nuggets and fries around. You end up with a lot of food and happily eat, watching Tyler send a few messages to who you're assuming is his dad.

"Your dad," Craig begins, shoving a fry into his mouth, "is the fucking best."

"He's an asshole," Tyler retaliates. "But he's pretty damn great. I'll tell him you guys said hello."

You think of your own mom. She's sweet, kind, loving, and the best parent you could've asked for. Your dad may have passed away when you were ten, but your mom really stepped up to the challenge and raised you to be a good kid.

"Tyler," you begin, watching him inhale his food, "is your mom at home or something?"

The table goes silent.

He doesn't say anything. His jaw clenches for a moment, and then he looks at you. "She is."

You can see Craig and Marcel exchange worried glances. Tyler looks up again at them and growls. "Eat your shit. I'm fine."

Brian and Jon just nod and keep eating. The guilt eats away at you until you finally reach out to Tyler. He zeroes in on your arm and watches as your face falls. “What.”

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I didn’t mean to bring up anything bad.”

Tyler sighs and rubs his face. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?” You plead. “I feel like an asshole.”

“It’s fine dude. She’s something I didn’t want to bring up because I’m not happy with her right now. But to hold you over for now, my parents have been divorced since I was a baby.” Tyler shrugs, managing to look nonchalant.

“So...they’ve been apart for your whole childhood?” You question. You suddenly realize that his answering means you’ll get the whole story later. _(Oh thank god.)_

“Yeah. It’s no biggie though.” Tyler eats another fry. “Having two parents in a house is...weird.”

“I used to have that,” you sigh. “But my dad passed away and now my mom works super hard.”

To your shock, Tyler laughs bitterly. “I wish she could’ve passed away or been an alcoholic. Then I would’ve had an excuse as to why she did it.”

The bell rings and Tyler gets up, leaving you shocked in your seat. “See you in Goverment, Evan.” He throws you a peace sign and heads off with a box of chicken cradled in his hands, disappearing into the crowd of students once more.

_(What the hell happened to him?)_

* * *

You get to meet Tyler's dad when he picks him up one day.

You're hanging out with Tyler, cracking jokes and watching videos after school when a truck pulls up. Tyler's face immediately brightens and he gets up. "I'll see you tomorrow, Evan!" He calls as he hops in the passenger seat.

Tyler's dad is an older guy who resembles your friend pretty well. Although his hairline has receded much farther than Tyler's, you can recognize the crinkles around his eyes and the laughter that the two of them share. "Who's this?" He asks, glancing at Tyler. "New friend?"

"Yep. That's Evan, I met him about two months ago. He's pretty cool." Tyler nods at you. 

Tyler's dad smiles. "It's nice to meet you, Evan. Hopefully Tyler can bring you over to the house sooner or later."

As they drive off, you hear Tyler hiss at him, "We don't even _have_ a house and that's not my call!"

_(What???)_

"Ah, the curious case of those two." Craig's voice causes you to turn to see Tyler's oldest friend at the school. "I've met his mom and dad; he gets his looks from both of them. Tyler's a perfect 50/50 blend."

"And his personality?" You ask, glancing off into the distance. "Is it also a mix?"

"He thinks so," Craig nods. "But the rest of us know better. It's not our story to tell, though. Anyways, see you later Evan!"

He heads off and you're left alone with your thoughts.

* * *

Tyler: okay so like 

Tyler: what the hell is up with this weather 

Tyler: this humidity is KILLING ME 

Evan: Um 

Evan: Hi? 

Evan: It's...uh...four in the morning. 

Tyler: yeah I know 

Tyler: FUCK 

Tyler: I should know better than this, I'm sorry. goodnight evan 

Evan: Wait! Don't go. 

Evan: Are you alright? 

Tyler: neeevvvveeerrr bettteerrrrr 

Evan: Are you drunk? I'm worried... 

Tyler: no but I wish I was 

Tyler: beer tastes like SHIT and I'm not allowed to have jell-o shots but fuck dude wine is so good 

Tyler: wine is really good 

Evan: Did...something happen with you? 

Tyler: my piece of shit mom again 

Tyler: treatin me like shit 

Tyler: no money no nothin 

Tyler: I forget how much I can say when I'm exhausted 

Evan: Please go to bed, I want you to get some rest. I can get food for you tomorrow. 

Tyler: nah dude it's all good. it's just child support money 

Tyler: my dad's been paying that shit for years and finnnalllllyyy the custody switches and she won't do it and turns out I'm broke as SHIT 

Tyler: birthday money is all I got lmao 

Tyler: fuck I'm tired 

Evan: I care for you dude. I'll be here in the morning if you'd still want to talk. 

Tyler: sooner or later I'd spill my entire fuckin story so sure whatever, you can come hang out with me after school and I'll tell you everything *magic noises* 

Evan: You're a nerd. :) Goodnight Tyler. Please get some sleep. 

Tyler: yeah yeah 

Tyler: night evan 

* * *

Friday afternoon, you go to Tyler’s house on the bus.

“Well, it’s not exactly my house.” Tyler admits. “They’re friends of the family. But technically, I’m legally somewhat homeless. I have plenty of houses to go to, but none of them have custody of me and I'm happy that way." 

“Dude...” you say, still a bit speechless. “I’m sorry.”

Tyler shrugs. “It’s life yo. I don’t mind. My dad's working overtime so he won't be home till Sunday.”

He takes you down the endless driveway to his empty house. "Welcome!" He announces, unlocking the door. "Mi casa is tu casa. There's snacks in that pantry and drinks in this fridge. Uh...wow, sorry, it's been a long time since I've brought someone over to a house."

"Really?" You ask, setting your backpack down and sitting down on his couch. Tyler laughs, kicking his shoes off. "Yeah dude. It's been about a few years."

"When I first met you, you said 'yes and no' to moving this year. Would you mind...?" You ask hesitantly. You don't want to push your boundaries but you're just insanely curious. "I'm sorry if I'm pushy, I promise I don't want to seem like that."

"Nah, it's fine. Uh, well, when we move to college, it'll be the third time I've moved in third years. A few months ago I moved from my stepmom's house and then the year before, I moved from my mom's house." Tyler looks around the current household, gazing sadly at the antiques in the room. "I'm getting tired of moving. I'm tired of having to pack my shit. My room is a fucking mess from all my clothes everywhere and I'm just really tired."

"Why'd you move from your stepmom?"

"My dad couldn't be happy with her." Tyler gets up, heading to his pantry. "Want anything? I have popcorn, Pop-Tarts, Gushers..."

You both don't say anything for a bit, and then you go over to hug him. Tyler sinks into the hug and sighs into your ear. 

An hour later, you're both on your phones when Tyler's rings. He groans, but then sees the caller ID and groans louder. "Son of a BITCH. Ha, I guess it fits."

"Hm?" You look up, blinking as you spot _'Mom'_ on the screen. "Are you gonna answer that?"

"I kinda have to." Tyler growls. He hits answer and curls up on the couch. He looks relaxed, but he's actually tensed as shit. "Hi Mom. I'm hanging out with my friend. NO, you've never met them. Yeah, I'm still going over this weekend. NO, I don't have attitude with you. I'm just tired. It's been a long week."

You look on curiously as Tyler suddenly shoots up. "You're what?! Almost here? Why?"

He pauses before rolling his eyes. "I could've had Dad do that! It's not...okay, whatever. I'll be there in a sec. Love you too." He hangs up and glares angrily at something in the distance. "Well, you were asking questions about my mom and now you can meet her. She's bringing me my meds because _apparently_ she was in the area. That's a load of bullshit, by the way. She knows I'm pissed at her." 

"Your meds?" You question, looking at him in surprise. "For what?"

"Extremely low iron." Tyler snorts. "When she'd work for twelve hours in the summer, she never taught me how to cook so I learned how to pantry eat like a champion. I guess the years finally caught up to me."

The sound of an engine running makes Tyler sigh and he gets up, gesturing you over. "You wanna meet my mom? Here's your chance, because I try to keep my friends away from her."

"...Sure."

He leads you outside to a nice looking car running in the driveway. The engine turns off and a woman gets out of the car, fluffy blonde and brown hair curling around her shoulders. "Baby boy!" She squeals, rushing to give him a hug. Tyler's on guard _immediately;_ his hands go up to defend himself, practically on autopilot. He looks like he's made of glass as his mom crushes him in her grasp. 

You're getting pieces of it. It's a horrible feeling in your gut, something twisting at the thought of what Tyler's mother could've done. 

Tyler's mom looks nice and kind. She turns to you with a bright smile, sticking out her hand. "Hi! I'm Tyler's mom, what's your name?"

"Evan," you smile shyly and shake it. She has a strong grip; her nails are painted and nearly perfect.

"It's very nice to meet you! Tyler was worried during his first year at the school because he hasn't had to make new friends in a few years." She laughs loudly, patting him on the back. Tyler looks like he wants to die. "You seem like a good person, I like that. Ty, here are your meds!" She hands them over and Tyler hesitantly takes them. "Remember, two iron pills a day—"

"I _know,"_ Tyler spits. "I've been doing fine with the first one. I know what I'm doing." 

For a moment, Tyler's mom narrows her eyes, and you can practically see the real her. A wave of anger flashes through her and she clenches her fist, trying not to spit as she responds. "I'm just looking out for you, Tyler. I'm your mom. I have a right to do this."

He looks like he wants to say something back but he stays quiet. "I'll see you Sunday, Mom."

She turns around haughtily and with a cold feeling of dread, you realize you fell for the illusion of her smile and kind words in the beginning. "I'll see you then. Love you." She says, turning to you. "It was nice to meet you, Evan."

"You too, ma'am." You say weakly. 

She gets in the car and drives off. When she disappears from view, Tyler snarls and grabs a rock, chucking it as far as he can into the forest. "AUGH!! Looking out for me my ASS!!"

"...Tyler?"

He whips around, glaring furiously at the empty spot where she was. "What?! And I'm not mad at you, she just pisses me off so fucking much but it's better than the alternative!"

You swallow and remember the way he didn't move when his mom rushed him. "What did she do to you?"

Tyler's mouth closes and he turns away. "Everything and nothing. Too overprotective, but also very neglectful in her own way. See how everything she has is nice? She used the stupid fucking child support money from my dad just for her. Nothing she got was for me."

Tyler sighs, letting himself sag down. You walk over and put a hand on his shoulder. He unconsciously leans into the touch and trembles. "I've got childhood trauma from her," he mumbles under his breath. "She gave me PTSD and all sorts of traumatic shit because she couldn't be a good mom. I hate when people hit me. I hate when people raise their voice at me, even though I do it myself. I hate how I blame myself for so much shit that wasn't even my fault."

You're shocked into silence. Seeing as you won't say anything, Tyler gets up and drags you inside. He hands you a water and gets himself a pack of Gushers, popping a few into his mouth. "Yesterday was the three year anniversary of one of the best days of my life during freshman year." He starts off, looking a bit sad but proud. "I went with the former love of my life to homecoming and it was a pretty awesome night. Exactly one year later, my mom finds out that my dad and I talked about custody and court and she beats the shit out of me and then throws me out of the house for a night. I had to go spend the night at my grandma's, and she hated me so much too."

"Tyler..."

"It's the past, but I'm still learning how to fix it." Tyler runs a hand through his hair. "I'm super bad at taking care of myself. But I'm trying to get better because I WANT to be better. Does that kinda make sense?"

You think of a younger Tyler, with eyes full of fear and all the ways he learned to sneak around without making her mad. It might not have worked, but he was always light on his feet and knew how to lie so easily. 

The Tyler in front of you has been through so much shit. He looks at you, blue eyes full of anguish and emptiness, and you understand. "How fast did you have to grow up?" You whisper, tears welling in your eyes.

"Too fast. I lost my childhood, Evan. I miss it, but I needed to get where I am." Tyler sighs. "I feel empty a lot. I don't even want to be, dude. But something in me just shuts off sometimes and everything is just so...empty. I don't cry as often as I used to either."

You don't have any words, so you just lead him to the couch and curl up next to him. "I lost my best friends," he says quietly. "They were with me for years but I needed to give them up so I could learn to love myself. They weren't very good friends in the end."

"I'M your friend," you say fiercely. "I want to be your best friend. You mean a lot to me and you deserve something better."

Tyler laughs, pure and free, and you can't help but smile. "That's what I've been telling myself for the past year." He wipes his face, turning to you with a genuine smile. "I'd like that."

"Best bros?" You hold up your fist. He rolls his eyes but snickers, returning it. "Yeah," he says softly, and you swear you can see stars in his eyes. A weight's been lifted from his shoulders as he slumps down next to you, exhausted with everything that had happened.

"Fuck dude, I'm gonna take a nap." Tyler whines. "Wake me up when...I dunno, whenever you wanna go home. I dunno. Whatever. Night."

He passes out in your arms and you make sure your grip is tight on him, hoping he has better dreams this time.

* * *

Tyler: haha yeah dude that's why I'm so good at staying up

Evan: That is some BULLSHIT.

Evan: I mean, it's technically not, but to stay up super late for a whole YEAR?

Tyler: had to do what I had to do

Tyler: peeps kept bothering me in the daytime so I spent my whole sophomore year going to bed around 4 am

Tyler: it worked tho

Tyler: even if I did lose several years of sleep or whatever

Evan: And I guess that's where your 'superpower' of being able to sleep anywhere comes from?

Tyler: you're damn right

Tyler: I got mad talent my dude

Tyler: just not in the right places

Evan: Shut your damn mouth, we both know you're talented.

Tyler: that's true

Tyler: have u SEEN my dance moves?? and I know a lot of 80s songs too

Tyler: I think I'd kick ass at karaoke

Evan: We'll see!! Get some rest please. 

Tyler: w/e 

Tyler: night loser 

Evan: Goodnight Tyler :) 

* * *

Over the course of the next few months, Tyler gets...better. 

He talks about his emotions more, which is exciting because you know he has a hard time doing that. Some days are easier than others; on winter days he spills more, words blurring together as he talks about his past and the future. Some days he gets fired up; you can see the same fire you saw in his mother's eyes, burning angrily. 

"Because of her she FUCKED OVER MY CHANCES!!" Tyler roars one day, slamming a pillow into the ground. "I can't go out of state!"

"Well...that's up to you." You admit. "I'm trying to think of a good thing to say without encouraging you to be spiteful."

You pat his back and he squints at you. He's already blabbered at how physical contact from people he trusted was probably the best thing ever, so you know he's being an ass by not saying anything. "Hm?" You tease, gently nudging him. "What's up?"

Tyler groans. "My one weakness, someone actually caring about my well-being. How COULD you?"

He flops onto his bed and makes you laugh. "Dumbass."

"You're one to talk!" Tyler howls back. The two of you burst out laughing until Tyler finally says, "Well shit, guess I'm staying in state. Might as well make the most of it."

"That's the spirit!" You cheer. "Let's get some food."

You order pizza and eat until you're both stuffed.

During the next few months, Tyler still has his bad days.

He's called you before at 5 in the morning, sniffling because he had woken up due to a very vivid dream of the past. "I felt everything in that dream!" He mutters, trying to calm himself down. "It's been years but it still felt so REAL."

Tyler can never truly 'sob his heart out'. He says it's because he was forced to shut up quickly because his mom hated that he cried whenever she yelled. "I haven't really 'sobbed' in like, two years." He shrugs. "I can cry a bit but that's pretty much it." 

(He finally tells you that the galaxy notebook was for poetry and for things to write when he couldn't find the proper words to say what was on his mind.)

He has the days where he can barely move out of bed, body sinking into the mattress. He can't bring himself to move so he just lays there, unmoving. You comfort him as best as you can.

You don't expect his trauma to go away anytime soon, so you learn how to deal with it and how to help. Tyler gets sensory overload every once in a while so you help him leave crowded areas sometimes. You think of the times where Tyler's talking to you, laughing and reaching for something in his kitchen when he freezes. He's gone completely stiff, eyes unfocused as he stares blankly at the drawer in front of him.

You have to go help him. "Tyler?" You cautiously ask. "What were you reaching for?"

"The spoons," he says numbly. "They're—they're not in the drawer. They're by the sink."

They're not. You know this. Some part of Tyler knows this. 

"...Fuck." Tyler sighs. "They're to the left of the sink." He snaps out of it and yanks open the drawer, angrily grabbing a spoon. "I just want to grow out of this, dude. I'm tired of trauma."

"I know," you murmur. "You just gotta remember your morals. Something good came out of something bad, right?"

"Right," Tyler exhales. "I'm doing okay. I just gotta remember to breathe. Thank you, Evan."

He gives you a grateful smile that tells you that everything is alright in the world.

For now, at least.

* * *

It's a weekend in March when Tyler finally snaps.

He's practically laying on top of you on his couch, doing homework while you're on your phone. Queen's _Bohemian Rhapsody_ is playing and Tyler's doing his best to sing all the notes. He's got the lyrics down though and it makes you laugh.

"My dad's birthday is coming up," Tyler hums. "He's probably not gonna want to do anything."

"That's true," you say absentmindedly. Tyler's dad is a simple man. 

Meeting Tyler's mom and dad made you see the similarities and differences in your best friend. Tyler had the spunk and passion from his mom; his dad gave him an open mind and knowledge of 80s songs. 

When he gets angry, you can see his mom flicker through. When he's calmly defusing a situation, you can see his dad. They clash together and it creates, well, Tyler. You've never seen such a stark comparison somehow work together in making your best friend. 

_"I'm a paradox,"_ he had once told you. Shit, he was completely right.

"On the bright side, it's almost..." His voice trails off. You give him a few seconds, and then turn when he doesn't say anything. "Tyler?"

He's deadly silent, staring at his phone. You're fairly certain he's stopped breathing.

"Tyler?" You ask again, gently shaking him. It's scaring you; he's never this silent. "What's wrong?"

Tyler doesn't say anything, instead getting up from the couch and heading outside. You get up and scramble after him, eyes wide as he tosses the phone to you. "Tell her to kiss my ass," he calls distantly as he heads to the gate. "Tell her that I never have nor will be ever related to that fucking bitch."

"Where are you going?!" You shout, staring as he doesn't even bother opening the gate. He just straight up grabs the bar, hoists himself over, and walks down the street. "TELL HER TO FUCK OFF!" Tyler roars, voice growing faintly distant.

You unlock his phone and stare down at the messages.

Mom: It's for the best. 

Tyler: it's what YOU want 

Tyler: not me 

Mom: She is not related to you! Look, Tyler, just listen okay? There's no point in arguing. I do not want you to visit that woman. That's final. 

Tyler: you're not the boss of me. my dad is. I don't live with you anymore. leave me ALONE!! 

Mom: TYLER!! Just SHUT UP!! She's not your mom; I AM!! 

Tyler: she treated me like her kid. she always made me feel loved, and she didn't even ask for me when she dated my dad. she dealt with me for a whole year and taught me how to be loved by a mother. 

Tyler: you never did that. she was more of a mom than you ever were. 

Mom: How DARE you speak to your mother that way! You're grounded. I am on my way to get you and I will not allow you to see her ever again. 

Tyler: you can't really stop me, you know that right? 

Mom: Oh, you want to fucking test me? 30 minutes. Run and hide all you want. I'll find you regardless. 

The conversation ends there and you understand everything. There's an unread message that came in about two minutes ago; you click on it and spot a number you don't really recognize. 

???: Oh my god, of course I'll be there soon. I'm so sorry. I love you. 

You sprint after Tyler, calling his name as you spot him crumpled up on the street. When you reach him, you realize that he's finally broken down and is fully sobbing. You've never heard such heartbreaking noises coming from him. There's tears running down his face and he's digging his nails into his arms, leaving angry red welts.

"God, that fucking bitch." Tyler chokes on his spit. "She's threatening my stepmom because she's better than her. She knows I care for my stepmom more and she finally snapped. My mother doesn't usually keep her promises, but this is a threat and she's definitely keeping it."

You don't say anything; instead you just drop to your knees and cradle him, whispering kind words into his ear and holding him tightly. He shakes and sobs and burrows himself into your chest, staining your shirt with tears.

A car turns the corner. You don't recognize it, but Tyler does. "It's my favorite parent so far," he manages to rasp out. "Evan, I'd like to introduce you to my stepmom."

You gaze up into tear-stained eyes and a shaking hand as a woman with kind features bends down to help. "Tyler," she whispers, looking at you and him in shock. "Hello, I'm sorry that we have to meet under bad circumstances, but I'm Tyler's stepmom." She quickly shakes your hand, helping Tyler into her car.

You quietly get into the backseat, fidgeting as she drives off. "I'm so sorry to drag you into this," Tyler's stepmom says, going the opposite direction of school. "If you want me to take you home, I can do that."

"No," Tyler moans weakly. "Please don't go."

"Then I won't." You say firmly. "He's my best friend. I want to help."

"Then we won't have much time." Tyler's stepmom replies. She tells you the story on the way over to her house. 

"I'm fairly certain that Tyler's told you his life story, right? That's no offense to you love, but we both know that you tend to overshare a lot. Anyways, Tyler has told me that he enjoys my company more and he's told me all about his mom and what she did. I want to protect him because I think of him as my own son. They were at 'peace' for a while, but Tyler can't stand some of the things his mother does. She can't stand the person he's turned into. So they finally fought, and their progress backtracked."

You nod. Tyler, even though he's been more open, hasn't mentioned this. Your best friend is currently in the front seat curled up, still sniffling. His stepmom pats him on the back and says she loves him.

Suddenly, the phone rings. You look down at yours and Tyler's phone, but it isn't any of them. Tyler's stepmom answers hers and puts it on speaker. "What did she already say to you?"

There's a sigh, and you recognize Tyler's dad on the other line. _"Too much shit in my ear. Tyler has already said he wants no part in this, and I am honoring his wishes. I know he went to you. Can you please make sure he's safe before I go confront her?"_

"Always." She nods immediately.

Tyler manages to look up and you see fresh tears roll down his cheeks. He quickly wipes them away, looking out the window. "Hi, Dad."

_"...Hello, Tyler."_

Tyler's voice is completely flat. "I'm dead, aren't I." 

_"Not if I have any say in it. You're almost 18, and we all know you're extremely stubborn, so I know I won't be able to stop you regardless. You'll be fine."_

"Oh, good. Maybe my death will be quick and painless." Tyler mutters. His stepmom lightly smacks him on the arm. You notice that she makes sure he can see it before she actually does it, and your respect for her increases.

When you get to her house, everything honestly kind of...blurs. The hours fly by and you sit and eat snacks and watch TV. Tyler turns off his phone and sits next to you the whole time, refusing to check his messages.

When it gets darker out, Tyler's stepmom takes you home. 

"Thank you for helping him," she tells you as she drops you off. Tyler just manages a faint smile. You wave back at the two of them. "It's been a long time since someone's been this close to him."

"I'd complain about that, but I don't have the energy." Tyler snorts. "And it's true."

She smiles and pats you on the arm. "Stay in touch kiddo. You have my number."

"Wait," you call before she drives off, "what happened in the end?"

Tyler's mom gives you a tired smile. "We've managed to calm her down for now. It'll be okay." 

"...Okay."

They both leave and you head back inside, wondering if things will finally get better.

* * *

A few more months go by. 

You watch as Tyler struggles to keep himself afloat. He gets to meet your mom and you've never seen him so nervous. "I've always been nervous to meet parents," he mutters into your ear. "I may be a cool badass, but parents just really set me on edge."

You remember his story about his first love and give him a hug. "Parents, am I right?" You ask, and he laughs loudly. 

Your mom practically loves Tyler. You know Tyler won't mention it, but he's grateful that his best friend's mom genuinely likes him. You go on so many more adventures with Tyler and as the year comes to an end, you suddenly realize that everyone's leaving soon.

Tyler's leaving soon.

He's going to a college in state, and it's several hours away from yours. You get your acceptance letter, and Tyler is so fucking nervous about his own letter that he actually cries a little bit when he gets it. "I GOT IT!!!" He shrieks, waving it around. You grab him into a giant hug and cheer with him. 

Grades get finalized, you and Tyler are practically living as seniors as the year ends, and then it's really over.

You spot Tyler near the front of his class. His last name is high enough to get him in the top ten of the entire line, and he's super nervous about walking the stage. You give him a thumbs up and he smiles. 

Your mom's sitting with his dad and stepmom. They would never get back together, but Tyler really wanted his former stepmom to go. You can already see them wiping tears away.

Your friends, scattered somewhere in the line, are cheering as Tyler heads up to the stage. The moment he shakes the principal's hand, you suddenly think about the whole year.

_Your name is Evan. That's Tyler, your best friend, who's graduating and going to a college that fits his major and minor._

_Over the past year, he went from being a stranger to your best friend. You've learned that he's been alone for far too long; with a father who doesn't show emotion very well but still loves him, to the mother who taught him how to be a better person._

_Tyler can be an enigma. He's like fire and ice, two very different things clashing to make one. He's fought so hard to get here and now he's gonna go after his dreams._

_I'm really proud of him._

When graduation is over, Tyler frisbees his cap into the air, and you laugh your ass off as it gets stuck in a tree. "Shit dude!" Tyler complains, struggling not to laugh. "I kinda need that back for pictures."

His family practically tackles him down. "We're so proud of you!" His stepmom sobs, giving him a tight hug. Tyler tries to downplay his excitement but can't resist and grins, hugging her back. "Thank you for everything," he murmurs, and his dad, standing next to him, gives him a gentle punch on the arm. 

On the outskirts of the group, you see his mom, and you narrow your eyes at her. She glances at you as she walks to Tyler with his grandmother by her side. "Tyler," she begins, looking nonchalant as he crosses his arms. "Well done. Even if you're moving away, we're still here if you need us."

Tyler doesn't say anything. He just nods and she gives him a very awkward hug, turning back to leave. His grandmother frowns but waves as she leaves too.

"She hates that I have proof of her threatening me," Tyler snickers as they get back into their car. "I have plenty of scars from them, and now I don't have to see them anymore. Whew!"

You can't help but look for the nearly invisible scar on his lip from a well-timed slap. The two scars on his wrist are faint but you know they're there. Tyler personally didn't care about them anymore, and always said that they were proof of something at least.

"Until you're 18, at least." Tyler's dad replies. "You're not there yet."

"That's in like, two months and a week!" Tyler grumbles. "Whatever. I'll be there soon."

Your mother, with tears in her eyes, takes plenty of photos with you and then with Tyler. Everyone goes out to dinner and you laugh loudly with your friends, taking final photos as the wonderful day comes to an end.

Life is good.

* * *

And then comes the day you and Tyler leave.

Boxes are packed, everything's set up, and it's just the two of you standing in the street like idiots.

"Well," Tyler says, kicking a pebble with his foot. "I'm not saying goodbye. I'm gonna say some sappy shit like 'I'll see you soon' or something, and I'm not gonna cry, and—"

You hold open your arms and cry as Tyler plops onto you, holding you so tight you feel like he's gonna break a rib. "Thank you," he sobs into your shoulder. "Thank you for _everything."_

The weight of his words make you cry even harder, burrowing your face into his shoulder. There's a faint _click!_ somewhere behind you, but you don't care enough to turn around. 

"You helped me so much, Evan." Tyler's words are muffled. "You mean the entire fucking world to me. Thank you for being my best friend."

"Thank you for teaching me this whole year about life," you respond, thinking about the life lessons Tyler and his dad taught you. The older man had years of experience in practically everything, and he was always open with advice. "I don't want to forget you."

"Then don't." Tyler quietly laughs. "Please don't."

"Never."

It's silent as the two of you stay like that for a bit. Then you snort and look at him, blinking tears out of your eyes as you laugh. "Dude, I could just drive to go see you."

Tyler's mouth falls open. "Oh. Yeah."

"You're not going anywhere!" You clutch on even harder. "You gotta get me into a party where you're going." 

"I think that can be arranged," Tyler laughs. "Yeah, yeah okay. I get that."

Tyler's dad clears his throat. "As much as I genuinely care for you both, we have to get going."

Tyler groans. "Enter my dad, who always does this. That's his job I suppose." He looks at you, grabs your hands, and smiles. "This was the best year of my life. Evan, you're the best person I've ever met. You've got my number you ass, send me a text like you did that one time at 3 am and we went to grab some food."

Tyler's dad narrows his eyes. "What?"

"Anyways!!" Tyler quickly cuts him off. "I'll see you later, loser."

"I'll see you later." You smile at him. Tyler gets into the passenger seat and waves as you wipe a few tears away. 

There was something very interesting about Tyler when you first met on that one fateful day. 

From strangers to best friends, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> I just want you guys to know that I finished writing this while listening to the wii theme song for 20 min straight.
> 
> this was pretty liberating honestly?? it helped a bit. the ending is a bit...vague as I haven't gotten there yet. I'm excited though.
> 
> see y'all later with more chapters for my other works ;) <3


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